Word of the Day: Ambivert

Word of the Day: Ambivert

In this series, I will take the Word of the Day from Dictionary.com and craft a short piece of creative writing around it.  My goal is to embrace the meaning of the word in some unique way, all the while trying out different styles, rhythms and characterizations.  It is as much an exercise in creativity as it is an exploration of grammar. Enjoy!

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By Alex Seise

“Is your world just a little too colorful for your taste? Or maybe a bit too monochromatic? Perhaps you just prefer being the middle of the road. Not a four-lane highway, not a gravel path; a solid, paved street in an average suburb on the outskirts of a normal city. If that’s your idea of perfection, plain jane gray and square in the middle of everything else, then good news: there’s a new prescription drug for you, Ambivert! Ambivert hasn’t been clinically tested, and it’s not recommended by any doctors…yet. But it’s showing great promise in balancing your life at the exact point of basic mediocrity. Don’t go yelling it from the mountains, but don’t exactly whisper it in a dark empty room; casually mention it to a medium-sized group of average friends the next time you assemble for a regular old time, if you feel like it. Do not take Ambivert if smoking or drinking, not that you’d do either anyway. Avoid sensory overload and sheer boredom in equal parts when taking Ambivert. Talk at a perfectly acceptable volume to your doctor about Ambivert: because sometimes, you just want average at best!”

The girl with the large, horn-rimmed glasses clicked the remote, slammed it down and watched the television set flicker off, bored of the stupid pharmaceutical ads that played during day-time programming.

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